karisuma
by Yui Miyamoto
Summary: Ryousuke asks if there’s a deeper reason as to why he joined Project D. (note: shounen ai)


Description: Ryousuke asks if there's a deeper reason as to why he joined Project D.

Disclaimer: Yui doesn't own Initial D.

_karisuma_. (charisma.)

by miyamoto yui

Click, click click.

With a can of soda in his hand, the light-haired boy with only eighteen years of life experience looked at the man's profile when he turned his head towards the right. With his blue-knit, long-sleeved pullover, the meticulous eyes watched the laptop screen so intently. He was typing away as he leaned on the railing with his ever-serious expression on his face, the one where no malice or tension seemed to ever touch in its utter complacency.

As the boy sat on the railing with his right hand holding onto the railing for support, he turned his head once more to quietly overlook the mountain pass below him. He took a sip of his soda and wondered why was this, of all places, the one that Takahashi Ryousuke wanted to go to in order to separate from the group?. Wouldn't it have been better to just instruct him at the site as he always did before the upcoming race? Why should this situation have been any different?

Of course, he was as quiet as ever as the clicking of the keys ran through his ears like an out of place sound in such tranquil surroundings, especially of that nature. Sometimes, he couldn't understand him. How he could always be so calm and collected all the time?

Maybe that was what he had heard was called 'charisma'.

At first, he could not understand the driving world. It was a task that he had been accustomed to doing since he was in middle school. So, the thrill wasn't exactly there when he was pushed into that difficult situation. Rather, it was a chore that he had done. Only, his 'chore' became something quite exciting and refined once he began to enjoy the feel in pushing his personal limits on all levels.

Yes, it became very satisfying indeed. It became something that he could only begin to understand its magic.

But whenever he looked at Ryousuke, he had wondered what was the motivation to drive? To go this far? He always wanted to ask why was he so obsessive over this game that he loved to play?

Coming as a member into Project D only served to give a glimpse to this answer. However, just as much, it posed many questions in his own mind.

Keisuke loved what he did, but his brother exceeded by far the passion that both he and Keisuke felt deep inside. There was something that Ryousuke was seeking.

He wanted to know what made Takahashi Ryousuke go this far.

Click.

It was a different click. It was the sound of the laptop being closed. So, he turned his head to find Ryousuke looking at him with an indeterminable face. It was something he was all too familiar with: being lost as to what to say, think, or react to.

All he knew was that whenever Ryousuke turned his eyes to fully focus on him, he immediately had to drink water or cool down 'cause his temperature would rise abnormally. Embarrassingly, he would have to turn away after their minute conversations so that he could breathe and not show the crimson face that would betray his fluster.

Even though it was only five seconds, it felt very long until the older Takahashi brother opened his mouth to say, "I've just finished processing all the data."

The boy with the light-brown hair nodded his head with an affirmative sound coming from his lips.

As Ryousuke was explaining what to do for the next race, the boy nodded his head in confirmation at having understood what he was supposed to do the following night. But when the handsome man finished, he turned around and leaned with his back on the railing while holding his laptop in one hand. He let out a sigh of relief.

Even though he didn't like wasting time, he couldn't find himself wanting to leave just yet. They were not too far from the others and he was a bit sleepy, but even though he yawned, he still didn't want to budge.

He may have appeared to be ever serious and cool, but the expectations he had for himself were too tremendous. He worked so hard to get where he was, but he wanted to push through to be the absolute best so that no one could touch him.

In relation to this love for street racing, he wanted to leave no questions and make a mark like no other. In order to do that, he picked the people he most trusted with his vision in this adrenaline-filled dream.

However, because he thought too much, and even though he brought this upon himself, he wanted some silence to encompass his life.

"Should we go back, Ryousuke-san?"

"Let's just stay here a bit longer, Fujiwara." Ryousuke said as his eyes faced towards the road before him. The one they had come from, and the one they were going to race on. But he could feel Takumi's eyes on him, prying and burning into his being.

Around him, he felt very peaceful. He couldn't understand why, but whenever he was around him, he found himself become more relaxed, as if he didn't have to keep up every single ideal that he had put himself into.

Racing was something that he couldn't live without. Could he really give it up? No. So was that partly why they were all here at this very moment? Yes. It was a selfish notion, but if he had to leave, he'd do it with a fight to the bitter death.

There was no other way he could live his life if he didn't proceed as he had and would in the future.

"You've changed since we've started Project D," Ryousuke commented as he continued to stare into the darkness before him. "You seem more focused."

"I've learned a lot of things." Takumi answered while keeping his eyes on Ryousuke's profile, unable to find himself looking away. "In driving, and myself."

There was just that kind of gravitation he felt towards him. It was such an intense admiration and respect that he sometimes found himself almost passing the boundary of decency. Charisma, was it? Was that really all?

"That was one of my intentions." Ryousuke picked his words carefully, but his smooth delivery didn't give an indication of his inner struggle. How he had not wanted to mix his feelings with business...

When he was beaten by Akina's 86, he had smiled. It wasn't one made from defeat, but one of awe and esteem. Takumi wasn't aware of it yet, but his blood was calling out to racing, to love it to the point of no return. He could see that from his perspective and he wanted to cultivate this love which would turn into obsession to become better as a driver, but also as a person.

Inwardly, even though he was not one to show his excitement, he was truly happy to find someone skilled and wanted to push his limits. He had found a kindred spirit, but his feelings became more than business when had found his thoughts consistently thinking about the driver of Akina's 86. The rush in his blood when he raced him, and almost the relief of being beaten by someone who somehow equaled the love he presented to this game.

"But I wanted to ask…" Ryousuke turned his head to stare into Takumi's eyes. "…was there any more you wanted from this project, Fujiwara?"

Yet again, it was a calculated question that he had wanted to ask, but had not wanted to reveal its true intentions. He didn't like to be read so well, especially not in this matter.

A matter with no optimal outcome in existence, if it were to be thought upon more than it already was.

Takumi's eyes looked away as he scanned the scene before him. He slowly breathed in the cold mountain air while he took another sip of his soda. He had concentrated and thought about this before he came into the team, but he found himself unable to say anything.

Patiently, Ryousuke waited.

And he felt, at that moment, like he was racing downhill on an unknown mountain pass with his heart beating rapidly in the rush that took over his body. Even though he had calculated everything, there was still much to say about skill, technique, and luck on his side.

That's what all things boiled down to in the end. Well, that was his opinion, if it had to be pinpointed to something tangible and accounted for.

"I'm not exactly sure," Takumi answered. "I just go with the flow. Until the need arises."

Too many things were crowding him. Work and this project were pressuring him on all sides. Even though he liked where he was going and what he was doing, he didn't exactly know what to do until the situation presented itself to him.

Ryousuke's immediately smiled, almost as if by reflex, at this response. He pushed himself off the railing and walked over to the passenger's side of the 86. He opened the door and put the laptop on the floor in the back as Takumi remained on the railing, still looking at the mountain pass.

Seeing this, Ryousuke closed the door and stood next to Takumi, wanting to hug him from behind. In the next second, he wondered why he wanted to do something so foolish. He cursed himself for having such an irrational thought pass through his head.

One of many that wouldn't go away the more he saw him…

Unable to take this any longer, Ryousuke just patted him on the right shoulder with his left hand. It would be enough to just touch him without doing anything else, wouldn't it? That was as natural as their relationship could take.

It would be enough.

Rather than not being able to touch him at all…

"I'll just lie down in the car for a bit until you're ready to go."

"Ah."

With that, Ryousuke turned around to walk towards the car. He touched his forehead for a second and silently sighed in relief. He was used to tension, but this was much too overbearing.

As soon as he heard the car door open, Takumi let out a small sigh of relief. Ryousuke hardly ever touched him, and whenever he did, the touch gradually became too much to take. He didn't want to get used to it..

He didn't like the fact that he lost control of his coolness whenever he was around Ryousuke. His face was bright red and he could feel it. It was just an immediate reaction that he couldn't shake off. Even though he was not embarrassed, the crimson face couldn't hide itself whenever Ryousuke came near him.

It wasn't that he became some timid manga character or someone who acted unusual near the person they liked. It was just the way things were, no matter how composed both of them were.

His admiration and respect for Ryousuke was becoming something almost hindering in acting 'normal' around him.

Ryousuke's question repeated inside of his head. He thought, "I just want to be the best.. That's all I want."

After ten minutes, he felt that his face was back to normal again and got off the railing. He walked towards the car and saw Ryousuke's sleeping face.

"Yes, I can achieve this dream with this person…" he thought to himself as he stared at Ryousuke before him with his figure and face becoming larger and larger through the front windshield.

The grip on the can he had in his hand became a tad tighter.

When he opened the door, Ryousuke opened his eyes to watch Takumi tossed the can into the back of the car and into a plastic bag. Then, he got into the car.

With his heart beating abnormally, Ryousuke wanted to reach out and touch his hand, wanting not to be held back by the restraints of his principles and all the other logical reasons that should have pushed him back by making such a gamble, especially at such a crucial time.

But when would the right moment ever come?

No amount of scenarios for such a thing could have ever been sufficient..

When Takumi sat in his seat, he put the key into the ignition and started it. As his fingers barely touched the surface of the gearshift knob, Ryousuke covered Takumi's hand with his warm one. Takumi's eyes blinked as he took away the hand that was already holding onto the steering wheel. He watched the darkness that was beyond the glass surface of the windshield while turning off the ignition.

Somehow, he didn't immediately pull his hand away. Takumi gulped. He just sat there with the engine running and Ryousuke's hand firmly holding onto his.

But…why didn't it feel odd?

It was almost as if he expected it to happen sometime. Just maybe not at that point in time…

No one said anything as the air became heavier, especially since the windows were closed and no one bothered to open them.

Then, Ryousuke's hand gently pulled on Takumi's and took it off the knob, pulling him to his side of the car. Takumi gulped again. He glanced at Ryousuke's serious eyes watching him, and fully comprehending that this wasn't a joke to ease up the tension for the next race as he had done before.

Only for Takumi had he been so affectionate to. Keisuke was even a bit jealous at his brother's shifting of attention…

Tugging on his hand while pulling his chair up half way, he watched as Takumi sat in his seat, still, confused, and a bit too much in concentration.

When he was about to open his mouth to admit defeat for giving into his own stupidity, Takumi's left hand responded with a small tug back. As his thoughts became covered in even more entropy, he sat on Ryousuke's lap while looking straight into his eyes with a mix of uncertainty and anticipation.

Ryousuke's arms wrapped around Takumi's lower back and Takumi leaned over him with his arms draping over Ryousuke's shoulders.

"What do you want from me, Ryousuke-san?" he calmly blurted out while searching even deeper into Ryousuke's eyes.

Unwrapping his arms, he put his hands on each of Takumi's warm cheeks and pulled him a bit closer towards his face.

"This project was selfish, but this one desire was beyond self-centeredness." With his eyes becoming more focused and squinted, he told Takumi, "One of the things I wanted most out of this project was unexpected. But maybe not so."

"And what was that?"

"You. I wanted you." Then, he kissed him on the lips while taking off his hands and unbuttoning the buttons of his blouse.

Takumi's blouse crumpled and fell down to his elbows as his hands held onto Ryousuke's head tightly. Ryousuke kissed the skin over his heart while his fingers pressed onto Takumi's back; as if he wanted to devour his heart, not getting enough of the taste.

"But I have nothing to give you," he answered with slight desperation in his voice.

Ryousuke and his brother did nothing but train him. He had offered so little that sometimes he felt bad at taking such an advantage with nothing to give back. But, as Ryousuke had said, he wanted his technique.

Ryousuke recognized that he gave all he did while racing. That's all he wanted him to do. He'd take care of the rest as long as he could fine-tune his driving.

And as long as he could keep him in sight…

But when had he become so dissatisfied with that? He didn't really know. Maybe it was since they raced for the first time…

"The way you race…the way you are," he answered as he smiled while leaning his forehead on Takumi's chest. "That's enough. That's all I asked for."

Maybe, he was getting much more than he had asked for…

At that moment, a bittersweet smile came over Ryousuke's face as he leaned his head gently onto Takumi's right arm. Takumi saw this and became intrigued that the person before him was much more remarkable and humble than he could have ever possibly imagined.

But nothing prepared him for the impact of Ryousuke's words as Ryousuke told him, "People, including my brother, think that I automatically did the projections for each of my races as a way to advance. This is the logical reason. Yes, it seems perfectly true.

"But it was also a way of control. I wanted to perfect my skills, but my skills took a lot of time and effort to complete. This is the way with everyone."

Then, he shook his head as he pressed a bit more on Takumi's arm while sighing. "I have been dubbed talented, Fujiwara, but people compare themselves constantly to other people. They immediately think that because they can't do something and someone can do it superbly, then that is 'talent'. Or rather, they mistake that for 'talent'.

"I work hard and push myself to points that maybe I shouldn't, but from one who knows the difference between 'talent' and dedication, that is our difference. I may have maximized my abilities and the situations surrounding them, but Keisuke and you are able to surpass me. Why? Because what you have is true talent: To adapt to situations. I have to project scenarios and proceed from there.

"I am not saying that I'm totally dependent on them, but what you have is pure."

Takumi was blown away. He carefully watched the top of Ryousuke's head, not knowing what to say. He didn't want to say thank you, knowing that wasn't enough. He didn't want to say anything that was insufficient.

But he wanted to say that his words meant a lot to him. How it touched him, especially when there were many who used to doubt him as a person; and now, those who questioned his driving.

That's why he let this person embrace him tightly as the windows of the car became fully tinted by the warmth of their breathing. That's why he was holding onto him with everything he had to give.

Takumi opened the window a smudge, but they silently remained that way for a while.

As the dawn changed the color of the sky and the sun slowly began to rise, their eyes were still closed in tranquility, appreciating the other's presence. Even if it was for a little while, there was a remote sense of serenity passing between the both of them.

It resonated within all of their being, penetrating deeply into their hearts, and touching the depths of their soul of their passionate nature.

They were still awake, fully aware of everything around them.

Takumi finally knew this wasn't charisma, and it was more than passion.

To him, Takahashi Ryousuke was someone who made you feel like reality could be taken, broken, and re-created in your hands.

Takumi broke the silence as he quietly told him, "But you never made me feel like anything was a dream. You always made me realize it was only within my reach."

Ryousuke's eyes opened a bit widely, and then they softened. He smiled widely for various reasons, but it was mostly out of thanks for such a person to tell him a response like that.

They remained there a little longer, both enjoying and becoming nervous for the new self-imposed challenges they had induced within themselves and on one another…

…until they shattered completely;

until they were pieced back together again;

until they could come back to fight with all the blood, soul, and tears they knew they could give…

….in the process of slowly conquering the world until it became unquestionably theirs.

Owari.

--

author's note: winces I don't know what to say, but that I love Ryousuke 'cause he gets me all giddy like when I watch Touya or Syaoran from CCS. I also am in love with Takumi. Thus, I really like this pairing.

The reason for this fic? A binge on Initial D (which this is my 3rd or 4th attempt to watch it and now it worked) and the fact that this beautiful image of Takumi's shirt coming off while Ryousuke's kissing his chest as Takumi sits on his lap. Don't ask me why. It was such a wonderfully, pretty image in my head that I couldn't stop thinking about it..


End file.
